England's First and THAT TIME
by CbugL
Summary: In which chaos insues after Alfred states that Arthur's first was France and he HAD SEX IS WHOSE CAR? I am pretty sure there is cursing, not a 100% sure but like 99.99999% sure...
1. Chapter 1

By: Caroline Jones

 **Word Count:** 553

 **England's First and THAT TIME**

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA, EVEN THOUGH I REALLY WISH I DID!

The world meeting was going just like any other, chaos. Germany was trying to calm everyone down, aka screeching above all the nations, and Italy was hungry for pasta. America and Britain were locked in a heated discussion, and it attracted some attention.

"I'm tired of everyone telling me I'm inexperienced! I'm totally experienced!" America yelled at his former brother.

"Yeah, right. Tell that to me once you wake up in the back of someone else's car with an ear-splitting headache. Then, I might believe you, Idiot." Britain's voice raised slightly, his temper was going to boil over like his tea earlier that morning.

"At least my first wasn't Francis," the American's friend, Kiku Honda's eyes widen in surprise. By this time most of the world was paying attention to the duo's 'friendly conversation.'

"¿Que? Kiku, you did not know! I thought everyone did," The smiling Spaniard proclaimed to Romano, who was sitting next to him.

"HA, you owe me a hundred dollars and a new manga collection! Pay up Honda!" Elizabeta demanded to the Japanese man across the table.

"This is the last time I make a bet with you, Miss Hungary."

"YOU BET ON WHO MY FIRST WAS?! AND I'M NOT SAYING IT WAS FRANCIS!" Arthur denied the claims ferociously like the Empire he used to be.

"Angleterre~ I remember it very well. Shall I describe everything in vivid detail incase you forgot, mon cher," The perverted Frenchman seductively stated from next to Artie. His blue eyes lost in nostalgia.

"Yes" Hungary yelled.

"NO, YOU FROG!" England screamed at the same time as Elizabeta.

"Okay, I shall tell you." Hungary produced a notebook and Japan one as well. The trio went over to have a side conversation.

"NO! God I feel like I'm going to be sick," America fake gagged with his brother. They shared the view of NEVER wanting to hear of how their mother lost his virginity, along with all of England and France's old colonies.

"WHY IS THIS EVEN THE TOPIC OF CONVERSATION!" Kirkland's voice was drown out by Francis' _detailed_ recount of topping said country

"Big Brother, what is everyone talking about?" Young Lili looked up at Switzerland a look of pure innocence on her face.

"NOTHING! JUST GO BACK TO YOUR COLORING!" Vash looked at all of those around him, gathered their attention, grabbed his shotgun and mouthed, "IF YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT THIS I WILL MURDER YOU RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW."

However, some were still deeply involved his France's memory.

"Aww! How romantic," Feliciano cooed, looking at his Big Brother Francis and then at Ludwig.

"ITALY, stay out of this!" Luddy told his partner.

"I agree, iQue adorable!" Antonio was lost in the tale.

"DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM, BAGUETTE BASTARD" Lovi yelled at the Frenchman for giving his boyfriend ideas for the bed.

"He hasn't JUST been with me, you know," Franny winked, towards Austria, as he told the room.

"GET SOME, EYEBROWS!" Prussia told the unawesome nation.

"BLOODY HELL, SHUT UP YOU DEAD BEAT!"

"Iggy, dude, you never said whose car you ended up in," America peeped in for the first time in two minutes, a record for the loud mouth.

"Well, it wa-"

"ENGLAND WE ARE LEAVING!" Queen Elizabeth II said as she dragged the blond nation out of the conference room.

LE FIN


	2. Chapter 2

**By:** Caroline Jones

 **Inspiration from:** Georgia Kirkland

 **Word Count:** 444

 **Let's Play Guess Whose Car Arthur Was In**

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA, EVEN THOUGH I REALLY WISH I DID!

Soon after learning Arthur got drunk in someone's car, France shows up with a new game to the meeting. It was guess who, with everyone Arthur ever hooked up with. This means it ranged from nations, Queen Elizabeth I, and homeless people. It was a large set, because Artie likes anyone who will buy him a beer, and lots of nations wanted to play.

"Alright, I want to know just whose car Angleterre had amour in, who wants to join!" France announced to all the present nations at the European Union Meeting. Every single God damn nation went over.

"You have got to be kidding me Frog. Right in front of me," The brit rolled his emerald eyes.

"Of course Rosbif, you have to answer the questions!" The Country of Love smiled.

"Ugh, I guess it won't hurt, not like you know everyone I ever had sex with."

"On contrary, I have everyone I could even vaguely remember in your drunken rants!"

And so the game began, all 28 nations were sitting at the conference table asking about appearances.

"Does your person have like brown eyes?" Poland asked Lithuania.

"No Feliks. Does your person have ginger hair?"

This continued for two HOURS, the longest any of them had been occupied in a board game, until.

"Okay England, we went through all of them and none of them work. What did you do to the game?" Spain inquired to his former rival empire.

"Oh, what ever do you mean, Antonio? Me, the gentleman messing with our amusing little game? How silly. NONE OF YOU NEED TO KNOW WHOSE BLOODY CAR I SLEPT IN!" Britain snapped, he started to walk out but was grabbed by Prussia.

"Now I just sat here for TWO HOURS you better tell me or so help me EYEBROWS, you will have an unawesome HELL"

"FINE YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW GILBERT"

"WE ALL DO" 28 voices screamed to Arthur at slightly different times.

"It was Prince Harry… I was drUNK I DO NOT EVEN REMEMBER HOW I ENDED UP IN THE CAR WITH HIM! ELIZABETH ALMOST KILLED ME. It was a nice car, but the beer was GREAT."

The world stared in awe that the United Kingdom and Northern Ireland had acted just like Scotland. That must have been one strong beer, but it never did take much to get the lightweight man black out drunk.

"THIS IS GOING ON MY BLOG" Prussia was as giddy as a schoolboy thinking of what Tumblr and the rest of the internet would think!

"DON'T YOU BLOODY DARE YOU WANKER!"

"Well, meeting over! See you all next month," Germany told the personifications.

LE FIN


End file.
